"matt needs" - Google Search

This is from fleawort:

Go to Google. Type in "[your name] needs", in quotes, replacing [your name] with your first name. Find the 5 funniest things that come up in the search and post them to your blog.

Here are mine:

Matt Needs Spaz

"Matt needs to have his bottom bared and a paddling needs to be administered... "Matt needs someone to bend him over and give him 20 paddles in his shorts ...

Please donate to the "Matt needs new pants" fund.

Matt needs to start selling large blue foam "We're Number One!" hands.

And my favorite: Matt needs help washing potatoes.

CM

PS> Here's another one, and it hits a little close to home:
Still this "Matt" needs to make some form of sense to the rest of us... So this "Matt" needs to start interacting like a normal person and soon. ...